This Time
by asouthernsoul
Summary: GC One-shot. Post S4.


**A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I wish I did though. **

**I've never written for SOA or have I ever written for this pairing before, so please be nice to me.**

**Everything is GC and everything hurts.**

**I cried while writing this, which is bad but they just give me feelings even when I'm writing them. **

They hardly ever see each other and they still live in the same house but they might as well live on two continents, worlds apart.

She has her routine. She gets up, showers, makes a pot of coffee, goes over to Jax and Tara's to take care of the boys, finish and organize various amounts of paperwork so the business doesn't go under, do little things around the clubhouse, go home, make and eat dinner and then cry herself to sleep because of how much she misses him.

He has his routine as well. He gets up, showers, finishes off the pot of coffee she leaves out for him, goes to clubhouse and sits through table meetings where his opinion and two sense doesn't mean shit, works on cars and motorcycles, goes home, finishes the food she's left out for him and then tries to go to sleep but sleep doesn't come easy for him because the sound of his wife's heartbreaking cries haunt him at night.

It was early on a Saturday morning when their paths crossed for the very first time in what seemed like years but in fact it had been a month.

"You're up early," Clay said in a gruff voice that was laced with sleep, as he padded into the kitchen from the guest bedroom.

He was wearing her favorite sleepwear, a black tank and black, plaid pajama bottoms that extenuated every aspect of his body perfectly. She wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and let him hold her in the middle of kitchen as he had done so many times before but times had changed and she couldn't do that anymore.

"Yeah, Tara called me, panicked, 'cause she caught the stomach bug the boys had last week and since Jax is out on club business I thought I'd make the boys some pancakes and them take them to the zoo and park for the afternoon. Ya know, get 'em out of the house and let their mama rest."

Clay nodded. "Those boys are lucky to have you" he said sincerely as he took a seat at the kitchen table.

Clay watched Gemma as she moved around the kitchen. She was wearing his favorite blue plaid shirt, with that white lace tank underneath and those jeans with the holes in them. He wanted nothing more than to go up behind her, hold her and whisper words of love in her ear like had done so many times before but times had changed, he couldn't do that anymore.

"Those boys would be lucky to have you too if things weren't so screwed up between us," is what Gemma wanted to say but all she managed out was "I made coffee, you want some?"

"Please" was his response which prompted her to go to the cupboard and get him a mug but as she was reaching for a mug, another mug tumbled out of the cupboard, bounced off the counter and shattered across the kitchen floor.

Gemma just stood there and looked at what was left of the ceramic mug that was scattered across the kitchen floor and thought how the broken shards of ceramic mirrored her broken heart.

Clay looked up to see Gemma's face; it was etched with pain.

Gemma knelt down and began to pick up the large pieces but with each piece came a tear. One by one, they fell but soon they began a river and soon that river turned into rib racking sobs. _She had reached her breaking point. _

Clay rushed over, knelt down next to Gemma and gently laid his hands over hers and said in the softest voice "here, Gem, let me help you." Gemma looked up in shock but what she saw when she looked up shocked her to the core; there were tears streaming down his face. _He too had reached his breaking point. _

Gemma nodded dumbly as Clay helped her to her feet and led her to a chair at the table. She watched him as moved fluidly around the kitchen, picking up the broken shards and after that cleaning up her breakfast mess. After he finished, he took a seat in the chair next to her and bowed his head to rest on their intertwined hands.

"I miss you Gem," Clay said, his voice muffled because of his bent head.

Gemma bit back the sob that was attempting to escape her throat. Instead, she took in a jagged breath and just sat there, letting him hold her hands.

After a while, Gemma broke the silence. "I should get going Clay."

Clay lifted up his head, nodded and begrudgingly let go of her hands.

Gemma got up, grabbed her things and headed out the door but a hand with a firm but gentle grip on her forearm stopped her. She turned around to look at Clay, he had that look in his eyes, the look that had so much love, asked so many questions, held so many promises and showed so much pain. He propelled her back to him so that her body collided with his. He placed a gentle kiss on the top her head and held her like he always did whenever she was in pain.

Gemma tightened the embrace and buried her face into the crook of his neck as tears of relief trickled down her face onto his tank.

Clay stepped back, took Gemma's face into his hands and brushed away her tears.

"I really have to go now, Clay," she said half-heartedly. Both of them knew neither of them wanted her to leave.

As she started out the door, she heard "I love you Gem." She turned around and said, "I know, Baby." And for now, that was enough.


End file.
